Short for Chameleon

Written by Vicki Grant
HarperTrophy Canada
978-1-44344-898-7
242 pp.
Ages 12+
April 2017

Hold onto that funny bone because it will be sprained from overuse if you read Vicki Grant's newest young adult novel Short for Chameleon in one sitting.  Take your time to savour the delicious humour that saturates her writing because, like a great meal, it's over far too quickly.

Cam is short for Cameron and he works with his dad, former sitcom actor William Redden, playing the roles of family members for anyone who'll pay the Almost Family Surrogate Agency.  Apparently the renting of family is not uncommon in some countries like Japan where Dad had tried to revive his failing career.  Now he and Cam and others in their employ shape and dress themselves into whatever the client needs: grieving son and grandson at a funeral; family visitors to prison; eye-candy for a high school reunion; whatever.  But getting recognized would not be good for business.  After all, you can't be remembered as a repeat grieving father and son at multiple grandmothers' funerals.

So when the wheelchair-bound Albertina Legge approaches them at one funeral, identifying them at scammers, Dad is pretty nervous, "sweating like a high-wire walker in a typhoon." (pg. 4) Unbeknownst to Dad, Albertina engages Cam to assist her in some scam-busting, all the while threatening him with revealing their lack of certification for a variety of government health regulations.  At fifteen and a half, Cam is none the wiser to her shenanigans, and goes along with her demands to assist her in investigations of scams upon seniors.  But things become more enticing for Cam when teen Raylene shows up hoping to hire a brother and gets involved as another sidekick of Albertina's.

Albertina's marks include the pharmacist she cons into refilling prescriptions, and the healer and medium Dr. Blaine T. Morley (to whom countless elderly streamed "like a scene from some zombie apocalypse movie, except with fewer missing body parts and more elastic-waist pants"; pg. 51) whose scamming she reveals to a crowd of devotees.  But she's got her sights set on two big scores: one against  a restaurateur named Lorenzo Martinelli whom she recognizes as the former investment cheat Wade Schmidt, and also looking into a young woman named Janie Aikens running the Time of Our Lives Adult Daycare. All the while, Cam is trying to get closer to Raylene, learn about her family and maybe get her interested in him like he is in her.

But like a British farce in which you can't tell who's telling the truth, Short for Chameleon is rife with scammers.  From Cam whose full name seems better suited to Chameleon rather than Cameron, and Raylene who keeps ditching him whenever he gets too close to learning the truth about her, to Albertina who has more than one agenda and doesn't care how she achieves what she wants, because going gently into the night is not an option for her.

"... she seemed a tad too alive–fuchsia lips, hair like Marge Simpson's only in a tasteful shade of tangerine, not to mention a good fifteen inches of wrinkly cleavage that made me think of the mighty Amazon snaking its way down the relief map I made in Mr. Jackman's geography class." (pg. 2)

Like life which is truly bittersweet for most of us, Short for Chameleon highlights the humour and the sadness of reality.  Doesn't matter whether you're a kid, a teen, an adult or an elderly person on the cusp of the end, life is not easy, there always being moments of grief and brightness.  All you can do is hope that sometimes there's someone there with you to share life's load.  (And if there isn't, there's always a rent-a-family agency around the corner to fill the need.  At least there is in Vicki Grant's Short for Chameleon.)

A Horse Named Steve

Written and illustrated by Kelly Collier

Kids Can Press

978-1-77138-736

32 pp.

Ages 4-8

April 2017

Steve is a horse who wants to be exceptional.  When he finds a golden horn in the woods, he attaches it by string to his head, convinced it will make him very special. As Steve parades it in front of his miscellaneous animal friends, cooing about how fancy he is and how ordinary everyone else is, the horn begins to slip from his head until it’s hanging around his neck.  As the other animals begin attaching random embellishments like a branch, an acorn, a mushroom, or a leafy twig to their own heads, Bob the raccoon reveals to Steve that there is no beautiful gold horn on the horse’s head.  Steve starts to panic, searching everywhere and crying despairingly.  When he is convinced that his horn has fallen into the water, Steve demonstrates the lengths to which he’ll go to be considered distinct, revealing more about his desire for individuality than it does for his need for celebrity.

From A Horse Named Steve 

by Kelly Collier

There is definitely a Mélanie Watt Scaredy Squirrel tone to A Horse Named Steve, primarily because of Kelly Collier’s ridiculously self-absorbed horse, sidebar comments throughout the multi-fonted text, and the awkward relationships between Steve and his cohorts.  But A Horse Named Steve is as unique as Steve himself wants to be.  Few characters are a blend of Steve’s ludicrousness and wretchedness so evident in his pursuit, especially since he is convinced that a golden horn will fulfil that need.  But Steve is more childish than mean, craving attention and not knowing how to get it in a positive way.  Kelly Collier’s story reminds us how much the world is driven by individuals desiring fame and celebrity when their uniqueness would serve them better in highlighting their exceptionalities.

A Horse Named Steve is a quirky story about a horse who doesn’t realize how original he already is, and Kelly Collier’s illustrations are as eccentric as he is.  With simple lines and very few colours (black and white with beige), Kelly Collier both pokes fun at her characters, whose distinct facial expressions share hidden meaning, and society in general while amusing young readers with the absurdity of Steve’s passion for a distinction he already has.  They’ll laugh at his silliness but I hope they’ll appreciate his differences as hallmarks of extraordinariness.

From A Horse Named Steve 

by Kelly Collier

The Caterpillar Woman

by Nadia Sammurtok

Illustrated by Carolyn Gan

Inhabit Media

978-1-77227-083-9

32 pp.

Ages 7-10

2016

Piujuq was a beautiful woman who loved to dance with the butterflies by the lake. One day she meets a woman with glowing, green-tinged skin who introduces herself as Tarraq and admits she has become lost and separated from her camp.  Wearing only a thin jacket of strange material, Tarraq shivers with cold and asks Piujuq if they could trade coats, to which the kindly Piujuq agrees.  Soon after the stranger leaves, Piujuq realizes her hair has become spiny and her skin has transformed, becoming prickly and fuzzy and green. Not wanting to frighten her family, Piujuq wanders the land before secluding herself in an abandoned tent.

When three men, on a search for wives, come across her, she offers them tea and mends their ripped clothing.  Though she is saddened when they leave, knowing she was not beautiful enough to become one of their wives, one of the men, an older man named Amaruq, returns and declares that she is very kind and he would like to have her as his wife.  The two fall in love and make a good life together, each caring for the other.  When Piujuq asks him to make a drum so that she might once again dance with the butterflies, Amaruq finds an abandoned drumbeater that makes magical music, ultimately transforming both husband and wife.

From The Caterpillar Woman 

by Nadia Sammurtok

illus. by Carolyn Gan

Inuit writer Nadia Sammurtok has written The Caterpillar Woman as a traditional Inuit tale. The legend which has a moral or message about seeing beyond skin-deep beauty is steeped in Inuit traditions from parkas to drums but with the supernatural element of a caterpillar woman and a magical drumbeater. Though the transformation of Piujuq to a caterpillar woman may be somewhat frightening, and Australian artist Carolyn Gan does this creepiness very well, it is Piujuq’s kindness and the inner beauty both she and Amaraq see in each other that uplifts the story to one of magic.  It’s a story of redemption, though had Piujuq and Amaruq never been transfigured to beautiful and youthful, The Caterpillar Woman would still have had a happy ending and a lesson in seeing beyond superficial appearances.

From The Caterpillar Woman 

by Nadia Sammurtok 

illus. by Carolyn Gan