These Are Not the Words

Written by Amanda West Lewis

Groundwood Books

978-1-77306-792-6

216 pp.

Ages 9-12

April 2022 

 

It's all about rebound and control...(pg. 80)

Even if only a fraction of what author Amanda West Lewis shares in this semi-biographical novel is true, then life with a jazz drummer and an artist was eclectic and surreal. But it was also disordered and insecure and the kindling for her words.

Told in a series of vignettes and poetry, twelve-year-old Missy tells of living with her parents and two cats in 1960s New York City. While there is much life all around her, with an apartment regularly filled with jamming musicians and Pops taking her out to jazz clubs to hear and meet musical celebrities, there is also an unrest that pervades their family. Pops may work as an editor for Pepsi-Cola's magazine but his passion is jazz music. But with that passion comes an erratic personality that is equally oppressive and exciting. One moment he is leaving her bedside poems with a stone or a shell and the next he is railing at her for making too much noise. Thankfully, Missy takes comfort in her cats, in her bond with best friend Corky and in her own creative writing.

But after a Florida business trip he never wanted to go on, Pops goes from unpredictable to despondent and unbalanced. With that, Missy and her mom must find a way to respond that allows them to remain safe and move forward.

It's hard to catch your breath as you read Missy's story. It's a roller coaster of emotions. From joyous highs and special connections between characters to anguished lows from conflict, rage, and tenuous mental health, These Are Not the Words takes on us on that rough ride. Hold on tight because Missy's story is not an easy one and probably not unlike the lives of many children who are challenged with flawed parents who can't or won't be there consistently for their children. The fact that Missy's story is at least in part author Amanda West Lewis's story makes it all the more poignant, especially as Missy is a star. She is irrepressible and brave and insightful. She is true to herself while trying to be hopeful in a situation that is less than encouraging. So, as a character study, These Are Not the Words are all the right words.

I'm not sure that These Are Not the Words ends happily but it is still one of resolution and perhaps even expectation for a future that goes beyond the pain and leads with forgiveness for a flawed father and acceptance of the different.

Mono no aware means a gentle sadness, a wistfulness about the fleeting nature of life.  Impermanence is the reality of life. (pg. 84)